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Clare and I were not quite ready for children and had decided to wait. However Clare shared in the preparation, going along with the parents-to-be, helping to choose the furniture for the nursery and generally being supportive.We were simply devastated when we heard the news. Clare dropped the phone and screamed. I attempted to make sense of what a distraught Ray was trying to tell me. A hit and run driver had knocked Francesca down and she was in a coma. She had already lost the baby and the doctors had warned Ray that her condition was such that he should expect the worst. By the time Clare and I got to the hospital, she was already dead.The next few months were utter hell with anger, misery and despair ever present in our lives. Ray remained inconsolable, but slowly, oh so slowly, Clare and I began to come to terms with our loss. Now only too aware of the ephemeral nature of our existence, we decided we would start a family.We were both confident that she would fall pregnant. He had like become a good friend, not just my dad."So how's your love life?" He asked."You mean, am I getting any?" I laughed at the thought of my dad asking me that."I guess that's what I meant, but I hoped it wouldn't sound like that." He smiled a fatherly smile."I get out a little now and then. How about you." A little now and then." he agreed.We had enough to drink so that I was tired, but no longer exhausted. He was the first to leave the table. "Old men need their sleep." he explained.I was still stressed out and needed an ego boost at least. I went into what had once been a bedroom filled with items seldom, if ever used. Since all my photography was digital, I used it as a workspace. In the office I had two full size desktop computers. One of them was newer and more powerful, the other was from my college days. It did not have enough power to handle the work load of a studio, but it was fine to use on the Internet. Since it was always on, it two about two minutes to get to the.
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